THE LOSS OF JOHN O'QUINN

JOHN MAURICE O'QUINN
1941 - 2009

Do not stand at my grave and weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

Mary Frye

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For All Who Mourn

by Arthur Guiterman

That he was near to you
so many a year
But darkens you distress.
Would you he were
less worthy and less dear
That you might grieve the less?

He was a golden font
that freely poured
What goldenly endures,
And though that font be gone,
its bounty stored
and treasured,
Still is yours.

The past is deathless.
Souls are wells too deep
To spend their purest gains.
All that he gave to you
is yours to keep
While memory remains.

Who never had and lost
forlorn are they
Far more that you and I
Who had and have
Judge not the price we pay
For love that cannot die.


Those who knew him were truly blessed. The world was better because he walked in it. I pray that his legacy of generosity will continue on. God Speed, John.

From the Grave

Carole Nichols

Mama, if you hear me crying,
Please close your eyes and pray;
That truth survives the dawning;
And that I'll have peace one day.

Mama, if you hear me crying,
I know you loved me dear;
And I know it was given free;
I'm sorry I could never hear.

Mama, if you hear me crying,
It's because I finally know,
That all I ever loved was me,
Such selfish love, so full of woe.

Mommie
I wish I could do it better
Mommie
I'm sorry.

For Virgie, with great sympathy and affection

Rusty

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

My breath catches as you cross the meadow,
Swift as the wind and into the sun;
Glowing in the light of a newborn day,
Stretched out full as you make your run.

The chestnut sheen of your muscled chest
Throbs with the pulsing beat in your veins;
You toss that dark mane, snort with pride,
You allow me once more to take the reins.

Gone is the halter from your noble brow,
Gone is the bit that chaffed your lips;
Gone are the fences that held you in,
And gone is your feel from my fingertips.

Somewhere, I know, you lift that proud head,
Nostrils flared as they catch a scent;
You race in the wind, coat silky and warm,
Your heart grows not tired, your lungs not spent.

You neigh and the air echos your call,
You're gone, yet here, 'neath the Dogwood tree;
Prancing in dreams, in the fields of my mind,
Free, as you live in my memory.

Today Is All You Have

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

"Don't live for yesterday, for it is forever gone;
It enters the realm of memory with today.
You can't touch a memory, and with each second that passes in today,
the past slips further away.

Don't live for tomorrow, for it will never come;
It is but a dream, a hope, a shadow.
And tomorrow becomes today before you ever get there,
the dreams, hopes and shadows vanish in the light of today.

Live for today, and savor each moment, each breath, each heartbeat,
lest it be your last. Taste it's many flavors,
set it in front of you, and enter into it's reality.
Today is all you will ever have...make it count."

Heart Speak

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

I was but a small thing,
In a frail bed I did rest;
But I worked so hard to live,
Snuggled in that tiny chest.

Though I worked all the time,
The demands on me were few;
I kept that small body going,
I knew just what to do.

The only time it taxed me,
That I beat for all to hear,
Was with your childish play,
Innocent excitement, foolish fear.

In that time we both took care,
To treat each other right;
And we grew strong together,
As you took your growing flight.

But long now have I struggled,
To keep you well and whole;
To work against the mark of time,
To cleanse the body and the soul.

What you do now hurts me so,
I must struggle all day long;
Will take more time than we have,
To fix all that if wrong.

You have to learn to accept
And let go of all the stress;
Lose the things that bring you pain,
For we are in such a mess.

Go back to a time when everything,
Was simple, pure and good;
We're in this life together,
Please treat me as you should.

Just An Old Country Doctor

BY CAROLE NICHOLS


Your world taught me so much,
When I was but a child;
You let my imagination fly,
You let my dreams run wild.

Good things seem to come in threes,
And you came to me that way;
Into my mind you flew and lodged,
Into my heart you came to stay.


There was the One who taught me
Not to be afraid to take a chance;
To stand up for what I believe in;
To jump right in and join the dance.


And the Second one who taught me
That my mind is precious and dear;
That different can be beautiful,
And diversity does not mean fear.


But of the Three, you were the one,
Who showed me how I want to live;
You showed me how to love myself,
And how my heart to unselfishly give.


You prepared me for the truths of life,
The laughter and tears, the bliss and the pain;
You taught me to listen to my heart,
That beauty is found in the simple and plain.


From the soul of a crusty old doctor
I learned I was special and one of a kind.
From your biting wit came the kindest heart;
You were the best of the three in my mind.


The body of DeForest Kelly is gone, but the spirit of Dr. McCoy (indeed, they were one and the same)will live forever. I miss being able to see his gamine grin, to hear his voice. He is the first of my personal heros to leave me, but the things he taught me will always remain. Bye, for now, Dee....you tell the Great Bird of the Galaxy "howdy" for me when you see him.

Saying Goodbye

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

He stands in the doorway, head held low;
He knows he must see her, but he doesn't want to go.
He can feel the eyes of both stranger and friend,
And the waves of pity that they send.

His fingers ache to touch her alabaster face,
Framed by amber curls, not a hair out of place;
He clenches eyes shut and hopes he won't cry,
The hardest thing he's done is saying goodbye.

She doesn't look at him, and he knows she won't;
Not her fault, he thinks, with a heart bitter note.
For one last time he stands by her side;
Was not long ago that he made her his bride.

And he speaks to her now, softly and low,
"Heart of my heart, I must let you go,"
But here I have something that belongs to you.
I need to give it back and make a promise, too.

My life will go on the best that it can,
But this emptiness inside you will understand;
Your future will take you to untraveled shores,
Part of me goes with you as you pass these doors.

There'll be many a night I'll cry for your touch,
Already, my love, I miss you so much.
If just one more time, you could give me your smile,
I'd keep it close to me for a long, long while.

And they gave me your ring, thought you wouldn't mind;
I'm putting it back on your hand now, because, I find,
The vows that we made are still binding and true;
For a very long time, I will still love you."

He tenderly placed the golden ring on her hand,
And the tears began to fall from the eyes of the man.
It was time to say goodbye to his greatest dream,
Too soon, too soon....death was not in his scheme.

Death came knocking and she opened the door;
He will never hold her close anymore.
The hardest thing he's done is saying goodbye;
As the coffin lid closes, he's still asking why.

The Dance of Time

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Gently, quietly, they come to be,
Reaching up to the sun till full bloom.
Perfuming the fresh, cooling breeze,
Innocence leaping from nature's womb.
And the beauty of that newborn time
Brings to eyes wonderous tears
As life dances before them, young and free;
Petaling the ground as summer nears.

Proudly they stand in the brilliant light,
Hot and alive, full of sweet zest;
Bend mockingly into the fury's storm,
Relishing life's dance at it's best.
Energy flows through trunk and limb,
Chasing the wisp of a full blown dream,
Callously searching for what may come,
Forgetting the branches fallen in stream.

Slowly, but surely the autumn creeps in,
And the dress of it's leaves grow old;
Yet it was never so beautiful as now,
It's red canopy touched with midas gold.
And the dance goes on, more deeply so,
For it knows that time will soon be gone;
When the leaves fall down to form a bed,
It's left naked to face the cold unknown.

Finally it stands forlorn, alone,
And the bitter winds bite the skin
Till the soul yearns to lay itself down,
Feeling too tired, too old to begin again.
The snow now forms a soft, white shroud,
The wind whips round with a mournful cry;
The dance of time has run it's course,
Yet buds only slumber, they do not die.

Let There be no Sadness

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Were my eyes to close forever,
Were my heart to cease it's steady beat;
Celebrate my life, please don't mourn,
For you have made my life complete.

Should eternity come before the dawn,
Were my soul to begin it's flight;
I would leave with no regrets, dear,
You have made my world so right.

If you want to hold my memory,
Remember the joy in my eyes of jade;
Remember the sound of my laughter,
Remember the love, together, we made.

Remember our times in the sunshine,
When the world spun perfectly;
We found something special together,
Let there be no sadness from you for me.

And if you believe in forever,
Then know in your heart, I'll be there,
Waiting to continue our journey,
The fruits of our love, continue to share.

Borrowed Time

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

We meant to do it later;
Meant to sing just one more song.
We wanted to create a perfect world,
We wanted to right each little wrong.

But time and God came knocking,
Before we could find the time to be;
He took you from my world and life,
And set your dreamer's soul free.

So now I walk the beach alone,
Collecting shells that reach the shore;
Watching the birds fly high in the sky,
I didn't think I could miss you more.

I think of all the paths not taken,
For putting if off just one more day;
And I realize we're all on borrowed time,
If we wait, it will all be taken away.

Forgive me, for I never realized,
We're all just a speck in eternity;
A dust mote built on borrowed time,
There was never a tomorrow for you and me.

The Last Time

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

If I had known it was the last time
That I would ever hold you tight,
I would have touched and held you close
And watched you sleep through the night.

If I had known it was the last time
That I would ever see your face,
I would have gazed at you and memorized
Each line, each hair, each special place.

If I had known it was the last time
That I would ever hear you speak my name,
I would have recorded each and every sound
Because life without you is not the same.

If I had known it was the last time
That I would kiss your lips, know your taste,
I'd have savored each moment as long as I could,
Made it last longer, left nothing to waste.

It would have been hard to watch you go
Knowing that never again would you be mine;
But I'd have left no memory incomplete
If I'd only known it was the last time.

Death of the Sparrow

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

High above the cotton clouds,
The sparrow falters in her flight;
Circling in confusion, eyes seeking
A sanctuary to rest in the cold night.

Her journey's been long and lonely,
She's felt the bite of winter's chill;
Her life's been spent seeking a home,
A place of warmth, a place that's real.

Her wings are frayed with the touch of time,
Her eyes are tired, and so, so sad;
Her body is fragile, she dips her head,
Not knowing a time her life wasn't bad.

She cries to the darkening skies,
Heart beating terribly, alone and in need;
In fear of the hawk that is ever near,
Awaiting a reckless soul which to feed.

In a moment's gust, she's sent spinning,
Plunging toward doom, she cares no more;
Heaven's become hell, living too hard,
She know longer cares what life has in store.

In her last moment, she sends one final cry,
In protest that her life was worth naught;
No one cares, and then, she is gone,
Her love was offered, but no one bought.

Not My Child

BY CAROLE NICHOLS


"I've bad news to tell you,"
Said the doctor, so grim,
"Your child's very sick,
And her chances are slim."
"I don't believe you," she said,
As she burst into tears,
"She's young and she's strong!
She has many more years."
And she vowed,
Not my child, NOT my child.

The doctor sighed as she left
Because it was plain
Only time and time alone
Could help her with her pain.
As the months passed, she saw
Her child grow pale and thin,
Until no medicine she took
Would ease the hurt within.
And she prayed,
Not my child, not MY child.


Then the time came when
Her child couldn't leave the bed,
And she realized time was short,
And her heart filled with dread.
She bathed the sunken face,
And forced a sunny smile
For the eyes that looked up at her
And yet, all the while
Her heart cried,
Not my child, not my CHILD.


And when the fever grew high,
She placed the child in her lap;
A child almost as tall as she,
And there she let her nap.
With a hand upon her chest,
She counted each rasping breath;
Singing soothing lullabyes,
Hoping to hold back death.
And she whispered,
Not my child, please, not my child.


When the mother finally dozed,
She found herself in another place.
And her child was running and laughing;
Of the sickness, there was no trace.
And there stood a man
Dressed in a shimmering white gown.
And though his face was kindly,
He wore a small frown.
And he asked,
"What is wrong, my child?"


The mother fell to her knees,
"Oh, thank you," she said,
"For healing my child
Who was so nearly dead."
"Your child?" he questioned,
"She was not yours, but mine.
I just loaned her to you
To love and care for for a time."
And his face softened,
"And you've raised her just fine."


"The time has come
For her to take her place here
But if you keep your heart open,
She will always be near.
Now, give her a smile
And let her go;
It's time she learned
Of her work down below."
And he touched her head, and said,
"I give you peace, my child."


The woman then came awake
Strangely rested and calm.
The child in her arms smiling,
But her spirit and breath were gone.
The mother allowed a single tear
To fall on her dear child's face,
But of the despair in her heart,
There was no longer a trace.
And she said,
I will always love you, but
You were not my child; you were HIS.

A View in the Paneled Room

BY CAR0LE NICHOLS

I find myself in the paneled room,

Not remembering how I got there;

From my corner I look to take it in,

I don't want to look at the couch and chair.

The woodwork is rich and gleaming

Candles by hundreds flicker and glow;

It's seems a warm and cozy place,

Yet I'm chilled and still I can't go.

I don't know how I came to be here,

Something ties me here, won't let me leave,

My eyes flitter to the sofa at last,

And I see a small hand and lacy sleeve.

Someone is sleeping, I say to myself,

But the hand looks unnaturally still;

And I'm tugged reluctantly toward it,

Something moves me against my will.

My soul shivers with dread as I grow near,

Instinct screaming there do not gaze,

As I'm pulled till I see what awaits me,

And the woman appears in my teary haze.

I gasp as I realize she's sleeping not,

For death has left it's ugly mark;

Her blood turns the couch from blue to red,

Her eyes have dulled in her face, so stark.

And I know why I'm here in this quiet room,

Understand why from it I can't flee.

I look down on the woman now freed from pain,

The face that I see is the face of me.