Why We Fight

Carole Nichols

Eyes spoke of tender love,
yet full of unbearable sadness.
Did you know that you shouldn't go?
And you asked, "Please don's leave me there."

Eyes hoped for a long and fullfilled life
Did you know the money would steal it away?
Do you haunt the man with the fatal touch?
Can you see all that he's done?

Do you cry for justice in the dark night?
Rest in peace, Danny; we fight your fight.

Revelation

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Silence, in the midst of chaos,
Sound but a muddied imprint of the past;
And the tears a ribbon etched in blue,
Holding to memories fading fast.

The view from the tower of broken dreams,
Dark and dull with the tolling bell;
A chasm of roiling angry clouds,
Hiding yet holding the keys to hell.

In silence, looking into the pain,
Wounds never healed but well concealed;
The dizzying floating that you feel,
Is deception, betrayal, now revealed.

Loss of a Friend

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

There are things so evil in this world
That can't stand to see something good.
That you were hurt because of me;
I'd erase it all if only I could.

I'd turn back time til there was no time
That we knew each other's name.
You've lost your love; I've lost a friend,
And we'll never, ever be the same.

A fog of disbelief surrounds me;
An anger burns so deep within,
That someone out to cause me grief
Would destroy what was once a friend.

And I know that the friendship is gone,
But I pray things work out for you,
That the goodness in you will shine,
And that all your dreams will come true.

There is nothing I can do or say
That will ease the pain I know you feel,
But I hope with all of my heart and soul
That time and truth will help you heal.

This Time

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

This time the sun will never shine so bright,
That I can't see beyond your face.
This time the rain won't be my tears,
If someone takes my place.
This time I'll be the one to close the door,
If you should ever walk away.
This time I know dreams don't always come true,
It won't hurt if you choose not to stay.

This time I'll face the storm that comes,
When the heart is shattered with the wind.
This time I'll catch the pieces as they fall,
And hold them close til it can mend.
This time I'll not look back with a yearning ache,
Or miss the arms that hold me tight.
This time I'll know that time will ease the pain,
As I lay lonely in the night.

This time I won't give you my all,
For part of me is already gone.
This time to myself I will be true,
For what's left of my heart, I must be strong.
This time I won't believe the words you speak,
For you'll sway me if I hear what you say.
This time I won't give in to the love I feel,
For with love, there's always a price that you pay.

Path of Pain

BY CAROLE NICHOLS


Minds wander where they need not go,
Finding the paths hidden by pain;
Knowing better but not being able to stop,
And what does remembering gain?

A fresh rain of tears falling down,
Flooding the cheeks suddenly pale;
Bitter salt on burning lips,
Longing to scream in anguished hell.

The bite of the knife deep inside,
Piercing the heart so it bleeds anew;
Beating a drum of lonely lost dreams,
Remembering what it's been through.

And the soul curls up in sad defeat,
For it can't take the feelings unleashed;
Wailing so quiet only the mind can hear,
Please leave this place you've reached.

And the mind mourns the loss of love,
That once shone brightly within it's depth;
Moves slowly back to the safey of numbness,
Leaving but traces of tears the eyes wept

Drowning a Memory

BY CAROLE NICHOLS


At the bar she sits, in the dim of the light;
Ceiling glittering, fake stars in the night.

She tells the bartender, keep the glass full;
In hopes at some point, her memory will dull.

In the warming liquor, the ice melts away;
As do hopes and dreams of her yesterday,

Afraid to look in the wet numbing amber;
Afraid she'll see who she shouldn't remember.

The music swirls round her, whispering his name;
And she bites her lip so she won't do the same.

Each song speaks to her, straight to her heart;
Each note a chant, you're apart, you're apart.

She see the dancers from the corner of her eye;
Holding each other close, she tries not to cry.

She turns up the glass, drinks long and deep;
Praying tonight she'll be able to sleep.

She sits at the bar, alone, lights dim;
Drinking to drown her memory of him.

Living in Hell

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Smothering, drowning, filled with dread,
With a start I awaken, sit up in bed;
A sheen of sweat covers my face;
Dear God, why can't I leave this place?

I thought sleep was where nightmare's dwell,
But I'm here too, I'm living in hell.
It's a bitter place with memories haunting,
Echos of laughter, forever taunting.

A place for those whose dreams are lost;
A river of tears to show heartache's cost.
And the ghostly wind whispers a name,
Over and over, till I'm screaming the same.

I always thought hell to be burning and hot,
Smelling of brimstone, yet, mine is not.
Yet the agony is more terrible than any I've known,
My heart is so cold, my soul so alone.

Except for the memories of a time now past,
Till I was condemned and into this pit cast.
And I think to myself....why don't you just leave?
But there's nowhere to go...for I'll always grieve.

The blank screen of my heart reminds me each day,
There are hurts in life that won't go away.
There are no paths in hell, no refuge to choose;
And my demons laugh....hey sucker, you lose!

Just Let It Go

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Sitting in the silence,
Lonely candle for a friend;
A drink the only warmth,
Waiting for the pain to end.
Whispering to no one there
I don't want to be alone;
Hearing echos of lost happiness,
Of good times forever gone.

In the muted fog of vintage taste
The time creeps long and slow;
And speaks the one thing unspeakable,
Just let it go, just let it go...
How bitter the thought, how hard,
And how do you start to grieve;
To walk away from sweet paradise
Tell me, how does one just leave?

From the depths of the drinking cup
To the hollow space in my heart,
My soul cries out for just a touch
To help the healing tears start.
Just let go, oh, just let go
Nothing on earth is worth the pain.
Then my mind touches the memories,
And makes me yearn for you again.

You are the serpent that tempts me,
You are the forbidden fruit I seek;
You opened the doors to paradise,
You made me whole, but left me weak.
And it hurts, this ache I feel,
That refuses to just let it go;
The lonely candle gutters and dies
But the liquor continues to flow.

Ungilded Cage

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Quick now, be small, be invisible,
What he doesn't see, he can't attack.
Don't let the light fall upon your face,
Because you don't know how to fight back.

Quiet now, just a shadow be,
Until he requires that you come near;
Keep eyes down and don't say a word,
He can't condemn what he can't hear.

Be meek, be mild, and quickly move,
To answer his needs and ceaseless demands,
Carefully keep the full cup still,
Control those frightened, shaking hands.

Don't think of what you have become,
A broken slave to the tyrant king;
Don't dwell on those long lost dreams,
Don't count on peace from him to ring.

Be careful how you speak to him,
For anything can make him rage;
Be still, be small, a little mouse,
Look desperately for a way out of the cage.

And when you lay down to sleep,
Fervently pray, please God, strike him dead,
Before he finds you there in the dark,
Before his abuse enters your bed.

His Baby

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Oh, yes, that's his baby,
And just look at him spin;
She's got him dancing a jig,
His face wears a silly grin.

She sure starts a-purring
When she's in his sight;
She makes sure she hides her fangs,
When she holds him tight.

She's simpery and helpless,
Makes him feel big and strong;
And he doesn't even know
He's dancing to her song.

But when he's not around,
Her mouth wouldn't melt butter;
She's calculating and cold,
No kind words does she utter.

A black widow spider spinning her web,
The next victim already in her hold.
He won't even feel the moment of death;
Not everything that glitters is gold.

Not Even a Dream

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Lost in the dark, moonless sky,
Searching, weeping, wondering why;

Truth was lost within his smile,
Body of a man, greed of a child.

Fools follow like into the stark void,
Confusion reigns, then he's annoyed;

And with the wind, he's gone, so gone,
The tears remain and you're alone.

Searching the dark and starless night,
For a glimpse of a moment's sweet delight.

Yet the gate to heaven was never there,
He had no love for you to share.

The shadows mock you with their sigh;
Not even a dream, he was only a lie.

My Memory of You

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

I can remember the first time,
The scent of spring in the air;
Crisp and heady with excitement,
And, of course, you were there.
With a tender laugh, gentle touch,
A sweet kiss to soothe my heart,
You showed me the way to paradise;
It was hard for us to part.

I can remember each time
We talked and loved and shared.
You held me, oh, so warm and close;
Made me think you truly cared.
Each song we heard was joyful;
Each encounter left me awed
With what you could do and make me feel;
I never thought what we had was flawed.

And how I remember the last time,
Looking into your sleepy eyes.
And thinking it couldn't be done again
As the sun began to rise.
And then you proved me wrong;
Gently, so gently, slow and sweet.
You filled me with yourself once more
And made me feel so complete.

Time was short, but you made time
With a persistance all your own;
You took me once more to paradise,
You came within, the pain was gone.
If I had known it was our last,
I would have held you, oh, so tight;
Kissed you long and deeply.
Why did you have to feel so right?

And now the hint of fall is here
And you have left me so alone.
Gone even is your friendship;
I don't know what I did wrong.
Pain and confusion cut so deep;
Hot silent tears hover ever near.
I remember each and every thing. . .
Was I just small stuff to you, my dear?

Dark Angel

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

You can't help but sigh as you spy
That angel in skin tight jeans.
He's exactly as you dreamed he would be,
Yet, nothing's quite as it seems.

He is there, so dark of hair,
His eyes are black as polished coal;
Placed just right on a perfect face,
They seem to pierce you to the soul.

His lips are full, you feel their pull,
As they widen in a knowing smile;
What they don't say, his body does;
Makes you want to linger a while.

He moves in sensuous motion,
That heats your blood, tugss your heart;
His shoulders, wide, his hips are lean,
His chest your fingers itch to chart.

With a look, your senses reel,
He has the power to make you yearn
To view the beauty of his form;
His touch is hot, but it doesn't burn.

And with the attraction comes a hint
Of a sure and subtle danger;
For all his heat, his soul is cold;
He has no heart, this handsome stranger.

He wears his conquests like a chain,
Covered with tears of the lost;
Of those who ignored their fears,
Let him possess them, at any cost.

If you see him, don't look in his eyes,
For he'll strip you of all your pride;
He makes a feast of jaded love;
He'll use you up, then cast you aside.

When All That is Left is a Dream

by Carole Nichols

When the light in your eye has been taken,
When you've been left alone and forsaken;
When you're friends just don't understand,
When there's no one to reach and hold your hand;
When the weight of the world has made you cry,
And you're too tired to care, too sick to try;
When the one you trusted with all of your heart,
Makes cruel accusations that tear you apart;
When all your beliefs are shattered and torn,
When love has the power to make you forlorn;
Step into your dreams and make them real,
Go where you will to let the heart heal;
Build onto your dreams, one by one,
Until at last they are perfectly done;
Stay there until all the hurts are gone,
For tis' reality that has done you wrong;
When all that's left is a dream where you lie,
The heart will find peace, but the soul will die.

In His Own Image

BY CAROLE NICHOLS


Judge me not too harshly

By the measures of loose and free;

For was I not your fondest wish

But uttered and made reality?

Was there no suggestion made,

You received with but one string;

Twas in your arms, with loving done,

A kiss of friends, no harsh words sting.

How quickly when once pressed,

Did you point and then accuse;

What lies became your strongest truth,

So that you wouldn't have to lose?

I was all that you imagined;

I became the image in your mind;

So who are you, who did form the mold;

Judge me, judge you - what do you find?

A Wounded Soul

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Charming and witty, she was that most perfect of creatures;
and she wrapped you up in softest clouds of her illusion.
She had you spinning, you said,
dizzy in the head from wine you were fed.
Her lips were richly red and they beckoned and promised paradise;
hiding the sharpest of bitter, angry words which cut through your soul,
straight to your heart, carving and molding you into a puppet she controlled.

And was it not so subtle that you never knew when you lost yourself?
Was not each jab soothed by the warmest of kisses?
And I wonder when it was that you once more found your way,
and knew that woman she was, was but a yearned for dream.
When the night looms long and lonely,
do you remember when the world was right?

A smile was a smile, and a friend never waivered and never failed,
and the summer scents tasted of honeysuckle and truth.
And did you finally learn that what is inside shines ever more lovely than what the eyes can behold?
I was not told.
But I know that you walk quietly,
as not to stir the dream, nor be tempted by sultry eyes.

When the rains are falling, cold and hard
you walk uncaring to hide the pain,
Disillusionment leaves its ugly stain;
Is it the rain or is it your tears?

Angel of the Night

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Her heels make a lonely, echoing toll,

As she walks the streets full of danger;

Her face is painted to hide hard years,

She prepares herself to meet a stranger.

She's been labeled and judged by everyone,

They refuse to see her in the light of day;

She's a woman of sin, unworthy of them,

They choose to forget what made her that way.

She was once one of God's sweetest angels,

With her life before her, sunny and bright;

Full of love and laughter, her heart a song,

The belle of the ball, a taste of delight.

Her mind was full of splendid plans,

With a man who promised her dreams to come true;

Who swore to cherish the gift of her love,

And to worship her soul as only lover's do.

The thought of him now brings a bitter chill,

For he is long gone and he broke her heart;

Though he's been but a shadow for many years,

His memory can still make those tears start.

So in the dark, damp night she plies her favor,

Wanting to lose the hurt somewhere there;

Her heart is cold, her soul is dead,'

Tis so sad, and worse, she just doesn't care.