Bittersweet

By Carole Nichols


The taste of joy, how bittersweet
Mingled twixt a mother's tears
That justice comes, slowly sure
Cannot erase the lonely years.

A mother's love held fast by faith,
And kindness cushions sadness deep.
Yet much preferred are children's arms
O'er justice coming, full, replete.

The years loom long and empty,
Oh, bittersweet the victory!
Tears mark the grieving lines,
Made deep by aching memory.


May God continue to bless you Virgie Arthur. I'll fight for as long as you do!

From the Grave

Carole Nichols

Mama, if you hear me crying,
Please close your eyes and pray;
That truth survives the dawning;
And that I'll have peace one day.

Mama, if you hear me crying,
I know you loved me dear;
And I know it was given free;
I'm sorry I could never hear.

Mama, if you hear me crying,
It's because I finally know,
That all I ever loved was me,
Such selfish love, so full of woe.

Mommie
I wish I could do it better
Mommie
I'm sorry.

For Virgie, with great sympathy and affection

Catching Life

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

So small to be sitting there,
Eyes looking down to the dust on the floor;
Waiting, just waiting for life to arrive,
Catch her up and take her out the door.

Somebody should tell her life doesn't come,
You have to reach out as it flashes by;
Grab it all, the good and the bad,
Take your chances, learn to fly.

Somebody should raise her head so she'd see,
Life as it makes it's maddening round;
The dust she sees will no memory make,
Only by living will memories be found.

Summer's End

CAROLE NICHOLS

Heat still touches her golden face,
Yet sadness sings without a sound;
She watches as a lone leaf falls,
Alone and dying, spinning to the ground.

Flowers abound in fragrant profusion,
Ever more pungent in the steamy heat;
Yet the petals are turning with each day,
The cool of the night will send defeat.

In her heart she knows that seasons pass,
The warmth will leave but then return;
But she hates the journey into the cold,
For the kiss of the sun she'll always yearn.

She sits in the stillness of summer's end,
A lone tear falling to join the leaf,
Casting wishes and longings into the sun,
Delay, another day, autumn's motif.

The Hardest Word

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Cancel, erase, delete, remove;
Such necessary words, I fear.
But regret is the one that hurts,
The hardest word for me to hear.
It slashes like a razor deep,
Cuts away at a wounded soul;
The heart bleeds tears of helplessness
And leaves a lonely, empty hole.


I should have heeded the warnings,
Spoken in anger so long ago;
Should have acted with more caution,
Too late for that, now, I know.
So I live with the final word, regret,
Repeating itself in my mind;
And sincere sorrow that it has hurt
Someone who once was good and kind.


You are so forever gone,
Hoping to recover your heart;
Hoping to save and restore a faith,
Hoping to make another start.
I find myself crossing my fingers,
Hoping your dreams do come true;
You'll never know, because of regret,
That I didn't do this to you.

Divorce

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Through the closed door;
I hear my child softly cry.
And it tears at my heart
Because I know the reason why.

As as I knock and enter,
She quickly brushes the tears away.
I hold her and ask her what is wrong;
"Mommy, why couldn't my daddy stay?"

And how do you tell a child
That sometimes a dream can end,
That sometimes things can happen,
That no apology can mend?

How do you make her understand
That time does something to the heart,
That sometimes is it better
For the people you love to live apart?

You can't, you can only love her
And hope that in time she will see
That there's a reason for everything:
What will be will surely be.

But it breaks your heart to hear her
In the still of the night weeping so.
And you hope this is the only heartache
She will ever have to know.

A Piece of the Soul

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Broken heart, broken eyes,
Full of sadness and confusion;
Tears of irretrievable loss,
No hope of comfort or peace,
Look into the dark pit of dispair,
Seeking a piece of a soul.
Alone, so alone, so alone.
Gone is the heartbeat of life,
The warmth and promise
Still precious and dear,
Stripped away with that cold knife;
Taking a part of the soul,
Because the heartbeat is gone.

In a Hundred Years

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

In a hundred years, it won't matter
Who hurt who or why;
Not a single soul will know or care,
About these tears that you cry.

In a hundred years, it won't matter
Who was right or wrong;
For we are just motes in the wind,
In a hundred years, we'll be gone.

But for months and days without end
I think I've felt your pain;
To have held so much and lost it,
Did you quietly go insane?

The face you wear, that puritan's mask
Leaves little room for sympathy;
The world that truly knows you now,
Is the only one important to me.

If I Looked into Your Eyes

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Were I to look into your eyes,
I wonder what I'd see;
Past the olive green into your soul,
To the part you hide from me.

The outer eye is easily read,
There is a look of quiet sadness;
A bit of pain in corners crinkled
With lines that should be made from gladness.

There is a look of guarded caution,
As you daily greet the world;
A closed look of "keep your distance,"
In what use to be a carefree girl.

If I draw near to closely look inside,
I'd find a soul, naked and alone;
Battered and bruised by all you've lived,
Disillusioned by lies, and friends long gone.

And on the bier that held your dreams,
An alabaster coffin stands;
Holding the remains of your innocence,
The purity lost at love's hands.

My eyes fill with compassionate tears,
In my heart, I feel a kindred rush;
I long to pull you close to me,
But you shy away from even my touch.

If I were to look into your eyes,
Would I find of reflection of me?
If I pressed my face to the mirror,
Looked into your eyes, what would I see?

Tears You Never Saw

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Your eyes never saw my soul as it burned,
From falling tears that inward turned.

Your ears never heard my anguished cry
As your leaving left my heart to die.

The weight of your hand has left my own,
The warmth of your smile forever has gone.

Was is as hard for you as for me
When you flew on the winds of destiny.

You fell as only fools know how,
And I feel your pain, even now.

And even in the darkness I still know
Your life is ever filled with woe.

For you cast off a friendship ever true
And never ever saw tears shed for you.

Depression

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Black and thick is this lonely place
There's no glimmering of stars.
Heavy and weighted the blackness is
And it smothers the spark of the soul.
And there is no thought of comfort,
No peace, no laughter, no hope,
In this place of fear and pain and tears.

There waits no greeting smile,
No hand to touch or hold, no warmth,
There is no gentle word of welcome,
No phrase of love in the darkness cold
There is no time to move forward,
No time to move back for frozen it is;
Only darkness and the dampness of tears.

There is no urge to struggle or fight,
There is no curiosity, only resignation;
Eyes no longer strain to pierce the dark,
For the light of reality is harsh.
And acceptance comes upon the tender heart,
Nothing ever changes, nothing but
A darker black and a whimper of defeat.

Foolish Hearts

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Foolish hearts don't know when to turn away,
They stand in the fire to burn another day.

When those flames consume, they will still dream on;
Foolish hearts can't see that love is gone.

Foolish hearts walk into the light with no protection.
Blinded by love, they don't see the false reflection.

They fall into the well where hopes flounder and drown,
Yet all they feel is floating bliss as love spins them around.

Foolish hearts don't know when to give up the fight;
All they understand is once it felt so right.

They danced to sweet music that never seemed to end;
Failed to hear discordant notes that heartache did send.

Foolish hearts keep on hoping love will change it's mind;
They don't see the future, they can't stop looking behind.

Foolish hearts should be pitied; you can only hope they learn,
If you love, set it free; if it's real, it will return.

Statue

BY CAROLE NICHOLS


Her heart drowns in the tears she hides;
Swallowing hard, damn foolish pride.

An ocean of tears leave a bitter taste;
She had the best in life, let it go to waste.


And when she's full, they've nowhere else to go,
So they seep from her eyes, track her face slow.


Still she holds her head high, ignores the pain;
Tis not tears, I've been standing in the rain.


She looks straight ahead, neither left or right;
You wouldn't believe she gave up with no fight.


And the whispers seep; she's hard, she's cold;
For who'd believe she's not strong or bold?


Just a lonely woman too afraid, now, to care;
Just a face in the crowd who can no longer share.


And the tears flow round the walls inside,
Not seen by the world, but where they can't hide.

Heartache

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

water colors raining;

merging and melting,

blending with life's tears,

till all is muted and blurred,

except for the scars on the heart.

deep, soul-wrenching wounds,

visible in naked eyes;

lost, alone, vulnerable,

heart aches, flames of pain.

hearts so helpless, adrift,

beating a funeral dirge....

tolling with a sharp pang,

echoing into mournful silence.

no one to hear,

no one to care,

heart aches, even so scarred,

longing to once more go,

into the cool, crisp spring,

yearning for love's song

to flow into the wounded soul,

and fill the empty void.

Comtemplation

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

I feel the wind brush my skin
As warmly as a lover's touch.
Filling me with the scents of life;
Reminds me that I've lost so much.

All around me I can hear
The sweet sounds of nature's song.
I feel the loneliness deep in my soul
And wonder if I'll ever belong.

Above me the stars twinkle and shine,
Sparkling with mystical glee.
Filling my heart with such an ache;
I wonder at the humor they see.

I stand here in solemn comtemplation
Of the life stretching ahead of me;
I gaze down into the calm, cool water
And know that I will never be free.

Fallen Angel

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

She is born in total innocence;
Her angel wings are purest white.
And in her simple baby dreams,
On those wings she takes flight.

As she grows and learns of life,
The wings take on another hue.
On the cherubic tot you'll see
That her wings are palest blue.

A young girls wings are rainbowed;
They reflect her outlook on the world.
They ripple with her zest for life,
And glimmer an iridescent pearl.

Something happens to Earth's angels
When they grow up. You see,
The wings can't take her high enough
To put her where she wants to be.

Her wings are now just in her way
And so she nervously puts them away.
She's determined to find the real world,
And the angel wings start to turn grey.

The woman finds her pleasures;
Indulges in them until she is full.
Her forgotten wings go brittle and tear;
The once gleaming surface, dark and dull.

Days go by, then months and years,
Till the good times are hard to find.
Then she remembers the simple, good life,
And wonders why she was so blind.

She longs to return to that happiness,
So she searches among her things.
She realizes just how foolish she was
To discard her precious angel wings.

There, in a dark and dusty corner,
She finds them, broken and black;
And she cries because she knows
Nothing will bring the pure white back.

Tomorrow is Gone

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Frightened and thirsty, our journey long,
We climbed the mountain, my child and I;
The air was full of certain death,
We stood, backlit by a blood-red sky.
The snow was dirty at that top-most peak,
And we stood there, breathless, hand in hand;
Remembering a once most beautiful place,
As we gazed at the desolate, barren land.

No grass, no fruit, no flower, no tree,
No bear, no deer, no bird or pet;
For as far as our weary eyes could see
We're all that's left; then the sun sets.
There'll be no comfort in the night
I hold her close as my daughter cries;
Our hunger grows as our hope fades,
And the world we once knew slowly dies.


We climbed the mountain, my child and I,
A haunting sadness etched on her face;
We came for the last of the earthbound snow,
And we know that we'll never leave this place.
A world full of fools is finally gone,
Our tomorrow's have all been blown away;
Utterly destroyed, because we could never learn,
Thus tomorrow is gone with yesterday.

The Angel that Fell

BY CAROLE NICHOLS


An angel, he was, and so wonderfully blessed;
His aura so pure that it brightly glowed,
All the gifts of the world could not compare
To the special goodness he bestowed.
The life weary children, lonely and lost,
He gave them hope and gave them peace;
He healed hurting hearts too long in the fight,
He helped them find laughter, bade the tears cease.


The angel would often deny himself rest,
When needed, he worked night and day;
To the point where he ignored his own wants,
To be sure those he cared for were allright.
And in doing so, he forgot where he was,
Forgot that he walked where dangers abound:
Beneath the white clouds of heaven's gates,
He was only a man flying too close to the ground.


His angel's soul, so selfless and caring,
Was touched by the demon that haunts all men;
He was exposed to the temptations of life,
He stumbled and fell, and thus, he did sin.
From his lips rose a terrible cry,
For the sear on his heart left a bleeding sting;
The trust was gone from those he loved,
The truth was written on his broken wing.


He walks here, now, exposed to the world,
How far he has fallen and at what sad cost;
The hearts of the ones he had long protected,
Are hard to win back, once they are lost.
So if you see him on his bleak journey,
Tell him not to give up, even angel wings heal;
He can fly once again if his heart is so set,
He must believe in himself, for his goodness is real.

Sad Eyes

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

She's the sweetest thing you'll ever see,
There's nothing she wouldn't do for you;
She greets the world with a smile in place,
You wouldn't think she's ever been blue.
She'll be the best time you've ever had,
Just don't look in her eyes, for they are sad.

She never slows the pace she's set,
She gives her all to both work and play;
She's bright and witty, she'll make you laugh,
You'll envy her zest for life, every day.
You wouldn't think her life has been bad;
Just don't look in her eyes, for they are sad.

Her smile is a mask she hides behind,
So the world won't see the tears inside.
She keeps herself busy so she won't think
Of her loneliness and her wounded pride.
To know her, you have to look in those eyes,
The truth is sad, her smiles are lies.

The Mountain

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Seems I've been walking now such a long time,
Eyes fixed on the mountain so far away;
I'm tired and discouraged, and very alone,
There's no where to rest, no place to pray.

There's been no end to this journey,
I've been buffeted by storms and winds;
Yet, I must not stop, for the mountain looms,
And a sweet light of hope, to me, it sends.

I've crossed the desert in the heat of day,
Consumed by the fire and unquinchable thirst;
I've longed to give up, lie down and die,
It's been a learning journey at it's worst.

I've stumbled in the night, bitter and cold,
The howling coyote forcing me ever on;
Were I to stop now, he'd devour my soul,
All I carry inside would be forever gone.

I've been walking and walking, and Lord, I'm tired,
The longer I travel, the more distant it seems;
But I won't give up, for it means so much,
I need to reach my mountain of dreams.