Confusion

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

The carousel just won't stop,
Won't let me leave this ride;
This circle makes me look at love
When all I want is to hide.

And I don't know where I'm going,
But I sure know where I've been;
I need to get off this horse,
Before I fall, get hurt again.

I'd like to build a wall so high,
But there's no wall that can't be scaled;
Sooner or later, it would fall,
To leave my heart, once more, impaled.

There lies the great confusion,
For the piercing gives such pleasure;
Yet it aches more than I can bear,
This love that I do treasure.

It's said that when you hit water,
You need to stop digging the well;
But I keep digging deeper, deeper,
Till I reach a sort of lover's hell.

The fire burning there is so sweet,
But it's promise does often fade;
And when the well is dry, I'm left cold,
On the carousel where I once played.

I vow, once more, to get off that horse,
Walk away from it's confusing state;
Yet, each time I try to jump free,
I find myself captive to love's gait.

In a Hundred Years

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

In a hundred years, it won't matter
Who hurt who or why;
Not a single soul will know or care,
About these tears that you cry.

In a hundred years, it won't matter
Who was right or wrong;
For we are just motes in the wind,
In a hundred years, we'll be gone.

But for months and days without end
I think I've felt your pain;
To have held so much and lost it,
Did you quietly go insane?

The face you wear, that puritan's mask
Leaves little room for sympathy;
The world that truly knows you now,
Is the only one important to me.

When I Kissed You Goodbye

BY CAROLE NICHOLS
My heart was as dark and cloudy
As was the sky on the new-made day;
There I stood in the chill and kissed you,
Preparing once more to go away.

I smiled through tears you didn't see,
Yet they threatened to fall like rain;
Drove into the morn, never looking back,
Alone, adrift, heart heavy again.

You couldn't have known how I felt;
From even myself, the truth was hidden.
But it was all there in that kiss;
Even if those feelings were forbidden.

Like a child I believed in the fairness of life;
Like a fool I believed in the goodness of you.
Your touch blinded me to the truth;
A colder heart might have made it through.

If I could have just looked inside
To read what was written in your soul,
Perhaps I could have walked away,
Left with my heart still whole.

But I placed myself in the palm of your hand,
Never dreaming you'd ever make me cry.
I should have felt it with the morning chill
When I stood there and kissed you goodbye.

Cold Feet

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

So cherished I feel here in your arms,
Protected and safe from all life's harms.
So touched I am by the love you show;
You mean more to me than you'll ever know.

Yet, my heart stops just one beat away
From giving my all, from letting me stay;
I know what you feel deep inside,
It's there in your eyes, it can't hide.

How precious I feel in your warm glow;
And I wish I could just let my heart go.
But to say the words now would be a lie,
For I'm still afraid to give love a try.

I love lying here, next to you,
But to myself I must be true.
There's a difference between love and needing;
But it's hard to see when your heart is bleeding.

To give my heart now would be so wrong,
For I still need to find just where I belong.
Yet, I promise you, now, by all I hold dear,
When I'm ready again, I want you near.