Living in Hell

BY CAROLE NICHOLS

Smothering, drowning, filled with dread,
With a start I awaken, sit up in bed;
A sheen of sweat covers my face;
Dear God, why can't I leave this place?

I thought sleep was where nightmare's dwell,
But I'm here too, I'm living in hell.
It's a bitter place with memories haunting,
Echos of laughter, forever taunting.

A place for those whose dreams are lost;
A river of tears to show heartache's cost.
And the ghostly wind whispers a name,
Over and over, till I'm screaming the same.

I always thought hell to be burning and hot,
Smelling of brimstone, yet, mine is not.
Yet the agony is more terrible than any I've known,
My heart is so cold, my soul so alone.

Except for the memories of a time now past,
Till I was condemned and into this pit cast.
And I think to myself....why don't you just leave?
But there's nowhere to go...for I'll always grieve.

The blank screen of my heart reminds me each day,
There are hurts in life that won't go away.
There are no paths in hell, no refuge to choose;
And my demons laugh....hey sucker, you lose!